Personal pondering - Discomfort...is there ever a good time for it?

I like to learn and I definitely feel like I’m still very much in a steep, growth/development phase. I noticed, I find discomfort crops up often, across many areas of life.

This got me pondering!

Discomfort could be experienced as stress or anxiety, a sign that something isn’t aligned or right (at odds with one’s gut feeling/ability/capacity). There are definitely times when this is to be listened to.

But, sometimes, I think discomfort is a key feeling that can be harnessed, if we change how we perceive it, in certain situations, rather than feeling like we have to grit our teeth and persevere.

I’ve noticed with myself, things feel energetically and mentally harder to initiate when I focus on the difficult feeling or challenge. But, I can ease this, by also considering the opportunities available - it feels less dramatically insurmountable because I’ve balanced my view. I think this ties in to whether we are practiced at focusing on experiencing the moments or just outcome focused (did I achieve or not).

So, how we choose to experience intentional discomfort, can affect our experience and the potential yield (discoveries and progress, as well as achieving the outcome, or not).

I could see it as a huge, overwhelming thing to evade, or, I could experience it as a sign of strengthening and learning, regardless of what happens.

The sort of intentional discomfort I’m referring to, could be:

• Low level pain or difficult sensations

• Enduring something

• A physical state that is not pleasant

• Emotional overwhelm

• A draining/tiring/difficult situation

Intentional discomfort is a phrase I use to mean the discomfort we choose to safely engage; it’s a measured choice to step towards it.

This is because I’ve noticed there are other types of discomfort, and distinguishing the types, helps me work out when to step towards it, or to listen to it.

A few examples of intentional discomfort focused on the difficulty/challenge:

• Lifting weights – physically very intense and hard work, burning, fatigue, emptying energy levels

• Completing a challenge – stepping into the unknown, no confidence, pressure to get it right, how?

• Overcoming a fearful situation – flight or fright!

• Having that hard conversation – wriggling stomach knots, sweaty hands, dry mouth, focusing on trying to avoid a certain outcome?

• Doing something I don’t feel like doing, conflicting feelings + behaviour – inner voice is shouting not to, listing those very convincing reasons why I cannot, the what if’s, I couldn’t possibly, that’s not something I do…

By switching my lens, the learnings + progress I see within these examples:

• Lifting weights – showing myself I can get stronger, I can learn, I am capable of change, my health is important to me, and within my control, the sensations of muscles struggling can be a positive sign of this (watch out for my next blog about pacing).

• Completing a challenge – no matter how big or small, showing myself I can get through something unknown, I’m adaptable, I can do what I put my mind towards, often, creates momentum.

• Overcoming a fearful situation – trapping the bloomin’ spider and releasing it outside, heart is racing, but, I stop and look at the little guy, seems pretty scared, my heart rate slows down from the spike, I feel calmer, everything is actually okay. Maybe I’ll release more?

• Having that hard conversation – regardless of the outcome, that feeling of representing myself and being authentic, trusting my intuition, letting myself say my piece, giving myself as much time as I give others to speak, I am equally as important.

• Doing something I don’t want to do – seeing as this is a wellness industry blog, it could be turning off the phone in bed, getting up 30 mins early to have a walk before work, having a peppermint tea instead of a coffee, sitting with feelings instead of distracting myself. Can take so much energy to do what we don’t want to, but the feeling having done so, speaks for itself; better sleep, less anxiety, lighter having processed feelings, success after fitting in the exercise I promised myself I’d do…

Reflective Questions to finish

1. What do you think about discomfort?

2. Can you spot different types of discomfort you’ve experienced? What makes them different?

3. What would intentional discomfort look like for you?

4. If thinking about this feels ridiculous or completely unnecessary, it could be the time isn’t right, or, consider picking something more manageable?

And to finish the blog, it would only be fitting to confirm that is in fact me in the photo, solo abseiling down a rock, for the first time, this summer, and I didn’t die!